There's no place like home

How?  I took a very deep breath and gave myself exactly two minutes of alone time. 

I don't mean that I went to read a book, or indulged in a matinee. I mean I truly quieted all of the advice I had asked for, the white noise, the shoulds and coulds I had been clinging to and quietly resenting. The truth is, everyone was very supportive and wanted me to do what I wanted to do. The trouble was, I didn't know what I wanted. I had spent six years in Japan and I desperately wanted to move on, but I didn't know where to go. India? Korea? China? Germany? England? America?  If America, where in America? And why? What would I do? What is a "home" anyway? What does that mean?

After chasing my tail for months, I finally gave myself permission to want. I closed my eyes and asked, "If no one else mattered but me, where would I want to be?"  The answer was immediate. Clear. Definitive. Seattle.

That was a year and a half ago and I have never once questioned that decision. An old friend turned out to be the love of my life. I walked into a job that was exactly right for me at the time. My kilt lad and I live in the sweetest cozy house, I've fallen back in love with crocheting, I've been cast with the Dickens Carolers and am singing again, the swing scene is just what the doctor ordered and I have a number of amazing people in my life. Music, beer, geeks and queers. The Emerald City, yes. It truly is at the end of my rainbow.

Best. Decision. Ever.